De belangrijkste kant van Samoa, de Samoa Observer, pakte deze zaak uiterst origineel aan en plaatste een gefingeerde brief van Brown aan het volk en de regering van Samoa.
Lezen mensen, een geweldige brief, uiterst humoristisch en geweldige kritiek op de manier waarop de VS omgaat met landen als Samoa! (dat bleek eerder al uit Wikileaks, waarin overigens ook voorbeelden te vinden zijn van beledigingen aan het adres van grotere landen en hun politici) De inleiding en commentaar op de brief zijn van Shahtahmasebi's hand:
The Tiny Pacific Island of Samoa Just Brutally Trolled America
November
6, 2017 at 4:30 pm
Written
by Darius
Shahtahmasebi
(ANTIMEDIA) — The United
States ambassador to Samoa, Scott Brown, is the
subject of
an official administrative inquiry into his inappropriate conduct at
a Peace Corps event in Apia, Samoa’s capital city, in July.
According
to one source, Brown was “arrogant, fake, and put off a lot of
people.” The source also said he spoke to the Samoan people
“like we were a quaint little country that didn’t know any
better.” Brown was also allegedly intoxicated at the event and
was described as “channeling [U.S. President Donald] Trump”
– particularly in the way he treated the female attendees.
However,
rather than just take the rude treatment, Samoa’s mainstream
newspaper, the Samoa Observer, recently hit back at
Brown and America’s perceived attitude toward the world in general
in the most satirically brutal way possible.
In
an Onion-style opinion
piece published
last week titled “I am so sorry,” comically purported to be
written by Brown himself, the newspaper addressed not only Donald
Trump’s America but also the United States’ longstanding history
of the same type of behavior associated with Brown.
“Dear
Samoan people, Peace Corps and anyone else who dislikes me and
President Donald Trump,” the
article humorously opens.
“As
you know, I have been investigated by the US States Department
following my visit to your country last July to celebrate 50 years of
Peace Corp work in Samoa…Now, claims in the Washington Post, The
Guardian (UK), Agence France-Presse and NZ and Australian news
agencies, as well as your Samoa Observer that my behaviour at the
celebration function was ‘shocking’, ‘undiplomatic’, ‘rude’
and ‘culturally insensitive’ is all false. ‘Pure fabrication’.
‘All fiction.’ ‘Fake news. ‘Evil people.’ Sad!!!”
Sound
familiar? The article continues:
“Let
me tell you the facts. Alternative facts. Before my posting to
Wellington, I was briefed by senior officials of the US State
Department who explained to me what proper behaviour[s] were for
diplomats. When I questioned the appropriateness of some of those
behaviour[s], they emphatically told me that if
I weren’t sexist, shocking, rude, culturally insensitive and
undiplomatic during official functions, guests would not know that I
was the US Ambassador.” [emphasis
added]
If
any Americans find the above offensive, they should buckle your their
seat belts. The article gets even more painfully honest:
“You
see, it is important for us Americans that we get noticed. How we do
it is irrelevant. In some situations, we create a scene. And we may
end up embarrassing some of our fellow citizens…In others, we start
a war in places where no threat to peace is evident. Thousands upon
thousands may get killed. But, as long as they’re not American,
that’s fine. Death is the price they pay for not noticing us in the
first place and for their failure to acknowledge the civility and
dignity our presence bring to their gatherings.”
The
article jokingly claims Brown himself is not to blame for the
cultural attitudes he has learned to display:
“As
Americans, we learn from a young age that you don’t complain about
people who offend you. You just shoot them. If you’re still not
satisfied, then you shoot their friends, kids in their children’s
schools or people who go to their favourite night clubs or attend
outdoor concerts. That why our rights to carry firearms is guaranteed
under the Second Amendment of our Constitution.”
Transitioning
from criticizing the most exaggerated stereotypical trigger-happy
American, the article then turns to criticizing Trump directly:
“During
my counseling, State Department Officials told me that I had nothing
to worry about. Just be a bit more discreet next time…They also
counseled me to do what President Trump said. People would let stars
like him and me, do whatever we’d like to do to them. So, if we
liked a nice woman, don’t waste words or ask for their consent.
Just ‘grab them by the p****’.”
Allegedly,
Brown made inappropriate statements towards the female workers at the
event, and his conduct, in general, was deemed inappropriate. He was
also accused of referring to people outside the event as “grungy
and dirty,” a statement that offended many people.
Most
ludicrous, however, is the fact that Brown purported to claim he
wasn’t aware his statements would be offensive because he didn’t
understand the cultural differences between Samoa and the United
States. In reality, “the event was being catered by the Peace
Corps volunteers who are all Americans,” according
to a source who attended the event in Apia.
The
article finishes off in brutal fashion:
“I
promise that the next time I visit your country, I’ll wear a
blindfold so I don’t have to look at all those ‘grungy and dirty’
people.
Or
voluptuous chests.
Yours
sincerely,
Snott
Brown
Ambassador,
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